Barter History

-Premiere of a choreography in Cairo in 2012 (Opera House o Townhouse Gallery)
-A walk in the clouds
-Personalized cooking lessons
-PR and communication services for one event
-Lunch of "migas" at my grandparents's house in a town nearby Ciudad Real, I'll let you take a picture of them
-A personalized theater play
-An Argentinian BBQ in my house in Cordoba (Argentina) with my friends, or a website with a virtual gallery of your work
-Furnished penthouse in Costa del Sol right in front of the sea for 15 days
-Artwork exchange (Sergi Serra Mir)
-It would be great to finish my pilot course doing a collaboration with you. You could take pictures from different heights and angles in the countryside, so you can tell they're not taken from a balcony. I'll invite you and your friends to talk about the project to my 400ha estate, we'll eat gazpacho and cheese and a good wine. PD. I offer the possibility of accomplishing any of the other bids that you get that you like additionally to mine. -An excellent home-made stew at home, with a good Ribera del Duero wine and home-made crème caramel for dessert -Absolute anonymity, the true story written by a lying woman, and a bunch of violets every June 29th until I disappear (2011 included) -Architectural project for your house or whatever you want
-You could make a portrait of my 5-month-old daughter, called Ana. She could make a portrait of you
-All the poens that you can inspire me. I'll recite them while I give you a massage (your choice), I'll write them by hand and include illustrations, and record myself reciting them on video tapes
-Embroided handkerchief, made in bobbin lace
-Guided tour to the Martín Codax winery in Cambrados (Rias Baixas)
-Weekend on a boat in the Galician ias Baixas. We'll show you virgin islands, inaccessible coves, the Atlantic Islands natural parc, we'll eat and have dinner in old marine taverns, taste local fish and shellfish, we'll snorkel, we'll sleep under the moonlight in really beautiful anchorages; all this in the company of a family who is in love with those places.
-Consulting and advising on how to plan, design and build your house, taking into account bioclimatic, passive and sustainable aspects. A zero-energy and zero-carbon house. An ecological house
 -A box of home-made wine every year, will ship anywhere in Spain
 -Become your best friend for a month. I'll listen to you carefully and, if you want me to, I'll always tell you you're right
-Get to know the Feria de Albacete in September. You'll love it, coulours, tastes, anytime…
-I'll grant you three wishes -excluding sex and money
-A birthday present every year for the rest of your life
-Geopathic study of your house and of your health
-Spend some time, having coffee or a drink, in my apartment while I show you my contemporary art collection
-Book El Toledo Invisible, I'm the coauthor
-10 bottles of extra virgin olive oil from the thousand-year-old olive trees in La Senia -Interpreting your piece using what I learnt in El Bulli
-Weekend in Burgos enjoying cherries and nuts from my garden, photography excursions, learning how to make caleidoscopes, walks with my dog and long conversations -Donation to Unicef (will send you a certificate), 150eur. (average yearly contribution)
-House in Sardinia for 4 people in the mountain 8km away from the sea, or in a house in Cervera (Palencia), or in a house in Vera (Almeria). I also offer to make any design chosen by the artist using bobbin lace
 -One week stay in my mother's rural hotel Finca Hotel Buenos Aires, in Barichara (Colombia) -In the style of Amelie's souvenir box, I offer: time capsule containing a letter to ONU regarding human rights, the books Platero y Yo and The Little Prince, my first yo-yo, a rubik cube and other toys. The time capsule would need to be dug up.
-Octopus-based meal in a typical house in Pontevedra, including wine, desserts, fiesta… Trip to Pontevedra included, and a good company
-I'm very much fun -Weekend in my village's house garden so that you can chill out under the trees
-I commit to show my daughter Nora photos, paintings and art in general whenever I can, and let you see that
-A house in Ibiza for up to six people for 10 days: wonderful views at dawn, a beautiful cove,… I love it!
-Any of my photos, to choose from Fcuencadiaz's Photostream , printed up to 30x40cm. in museum quality, black and white
-One single-line portrait of you like the ones on Proyecto Limón
-A kite and flying it together
-An open-air (or, if available, in a small theater)
-Spanish Dance show. The offer does only include me as a dancer, but if you'd like a more complex choreography we could discuss it.
-25 hours Portuguese lessons for two people, a lesson on how to make caipisinhas for up to 10 people and a private bossa-nova concert
-Photo shooting with half-naked firemen from the CAM brigade
-Extra virgin olive oil from my olive trees for one whole year and organic vegetables from my garden (potatoes, lettuces, onions, cucumbers, beans, chards, etc.) for one whole year as well. Home delivery
-Tour to the Romanic constructions in the north of Avila, you'll stay in my family house in Mambles
-Copy of my book "Fundamentos para la proyectación de los objetos en las playas de Cancún México"
-Open-air photoshooting
-A week stay in Cartagena de Indias
-Customized bike and a session of facial reflexology -I love the colors in your piece and the ribbon wrapping it. I'll give you a turquoise blue nightdress so you can hang from an upcoming production -My book "Palco Real", signed
-The possibility of sharing with me one week in your life
-4 days for two people in my apartment in Marrakesh including a guided tour according to your interests (arts & crafts, monuments, shopping,…)
-Color copy of a 1971 porn magazine including erotic articles and a feature poster of Norma Duval
-Guided tour to the sanctuaries and religious icons in Rias Baixas
-A black velvet cape and all of my love
-I'll file your income tax
-Weekend for two on the beach
-I'll hug you, talk to you, cook for you… just tell me what you need, I might be able to give it! -100 colour skull-shaped cookies
-I'll dedicate my new book (on the poetry of Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz) to you, it will be published in November by Nostra
-Three years free respiratory medicine visits
-One week in Menorca including accomodation, local home-made food and a guided tour around the island (I'm from Menorca)
-6 months advise on copyright issues -Collection of 30 photographs from artists of the first half of the XXth century. Most of them are signed
-Collection of 10 UN golden medals, 14 grams each, all of them different from each other
-Two bronze and silver medals tribute to Pau Casals (1971), they weight more than 100 grams and are numbered
 -Collection of six books on navigation in English, each encrusted with a 40gr. silver medal
-Collection of 12 commemorative envelopes and stamps, each envelope encrusted with a 20gr. silver medal
-Lot of 13 silver wedding coins, all of them different
-Brand new e-book with more than 100 books, memory stick with more than 1000 books
-4 framed photographs of New York. I took them with a Leica between 2009 and 2011
-Documentary film by Frederic Rossif on George Mathieu. Rare and hard to find
-Economy lessons. I'll explain you the financial crisis with documentaries and bibliography
-Concert of Bartok by Stokouski. CD DVD audio with three versions stereo and two hi-fidelity audio transcriptions of the 35mm master
-A copy of the book "A kind of rapture" by Robert Bergman
-Copy of the book "McLean Street" of the Turnley brothers, signed
-Signed copy of the book of Elliot Erwitt
-Signed copy of the book of Martin Parr
-If you are who I think you are, I'm curious about what you'd do with what I offer: the collection of gifts I'd never give, the library I'd never have
-One week stay in my grandmother's house, from the XIVth century, in Lepe (Huelva)
-Magnificent photograph from my Robert Capa collection
-Being your assistant for a month for any art project you may have in summer 2012 -Delicious homemade muffins
-A story in which you'll be the main character. Other elements that will appear: a terrasse, champagne rosé, luxury, adventures, lots of art and intellect
-I write stories. I'll write one in which the artist and his piece will be the main characters
-The most valuable thing I can offer: taking care of the artist's health, the friendship and attention of 2 doctors with lots of experience, specialists in oftalmology and gastroenterology
-I'll invite you to my mother's birthday party, you'll have fun for sure, it's not a common party -Taghever ladies watch, brand new
-Folding clotheshorse
-An afternoon eating tapas with my friends in Alcalá de Henares -Weekend cruise in Arribes del Duero with accommodation for up to two in the beautiful Pension de Doña Urraca
-Graphic palette to paint with Photoshop
 -A painting I did with lots of colour and feelings
-A fascinating night in the Roman theater in Merida -Three days use of a fully electric car, motorcycle or bicycle and check and maintenance of a car during six months
-Three services in one: I'll paint all of your house or apartment (you pay the paint) + 3 hypnotherapy or coaching sessions + I'll show you how to cook croquetas or cous cous -15 liters extra virgin olive oil Fuente de la Peña from Jaén
-1. Personality study through psychographic process 2. Individual training to speak in public (10 hours, two teachers) 3. Something so that you can relax and enjoy pleasures: rice with seafood for 4 people with tasting of wines from La Mancha
-A space where you can show your pieces, 60sqm with direct access from the street next to street Segre (Bernabeu), the upcoming spring
-1. Painting you through a mirror or 2. A painting on demand or 3. Give you a painting among the ones I've done
-One week accommodation in Paris or Senegal -A small yet big gesture from a child with which you'll be able to listen to the universe where and whenever you want
-A unique and personal poem that only you can read -3 years urology consultation in Hospital Ruber Internacional
-I'll tell you all that I feel while looking at your piece: memories of my mother, my grandmother, my second mother, my grandfathers,… -Return trip to the past and present. We'll first watch the Buñuel documentary "Las Hurdes, tierra sin pan" (1933). Afterwards we'll visit them riding a motorcycle, a comfortable Harley, you'll choose the soundtrack. We'll have dinner in Atrio, Cáceres.
-Share a day of my life, I suffer Chronic fatigue syndrome. I can only share my vision of life from the tunnel of darkness and ostracism that suffering this means